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Poems by Beedoo!

Unicorny Kid Shoes at Kohlís

It's supposed to be...
Look, dog, you're
supposed to help me write this poem
uncooperative--and dogbreath.
I thought my breath was bad
in the morning.

It's not that
I don't like unicorns,
so much as that
I hate them. I know
we're not used
to getting up at 7.
Or 8 or 9. But
this poem's not
about you, beagledog.
Just full of crap as fuzzy pink...

Fuzzy pink unicorns, that's
what I planned.
Shopping for NewRiver shoes with Sarah
Tenseventyseven, with a techno backbeat!-- But
the unicorns. See, there were
these--I'm in in the Kohl's kids'
shoes section
'cause they're cute
--the shoes, not kids.
Kids can screw off--I like looking at spike heels
better but my feet don't fit.
All over me and
blanket and bed-- the hair! The HAIR!
but these damn shoes... they want to make me yack.
Why can't
You keep it on, dog?!
-- but there was a shiny thing
(you know me and
shiny things, Mr. Vain.)
and pink's
my new shade
of disgust
--Yack. You never see shoes
with dragons.
Green ones.
Long teeth.
No dumb horns.
Eat a unicorn soon as look at it.

Damn dog Snoopydog,
much too fuzzy,
You're no help at all
--you wouldn't wear these shoes.
But you'd eat them, I bet.

If dogs wore shoes,
they wouldn't be this unicorny.
proud, over-cuted.
And pink, for God's sake, PINK!
Talk about Mr Vain-Brittney Spears shoes.
Damn friggin unicorns.
I thought my breath was bad.
I don't think I'd eat unicorn...rot my teeth.
More of a Mr. Vain
With spike heels and riding crops
and a pack of dogs!
"Giddap, ya ugly
one-horned mule!"

Sarah with her
tenseventyseven Newrivers
and me with disgust enough
to spit snakevenom
"Are we done here?"
Yeah, stick a fork in me.
No dragon shoes anyway.
Not that they'd have
your size anyway
you stupid, stubborn dog.

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