So, here's the true story: last Thursday we visited my mom and dad, after I came back from work. Came home late, I might add, on account of me stepping into the wrong train. We ate, and we talked about my brother-in-law, who is currently preparing himself for waking brain surgery to have a tumor removed (no, seriously!). We also talked about Beedoo!'s mom, who had a mastectomy the week before and was awaiting the results of the biopsy that day. While we were there a message came in from her: she was now clear! So, we expressed joy, and went home. On the way home, however, my mom called me: Beedoo!'s mom had sent them an extra message to ask her to wish us a happy anniversary!
And we realized: we both forgot about our first anniversary. So had my mom and dad.
For added amusement, consider that Beedoo!'s mom remembered that day, preoccupied as she was with her surgery, and was actually embarrassed that she forgot. Worry not, Beedoo!'s mom, we would not even have noticed! ;)
So, one year, and where do we stand? Well, in the past year we got married a second time, so it's all been a bit weird, but things have quieted down now, and all is well. I'm happy to have my little dragon, for reasons that are so personal that I find them hard to explain. She improves my life, she lifts my spirits, and she puts up with all my flaws and annoying characteristics. She's intelligent and creative, and she at least adds some adventure to my life. Most importantly, she believes in me. That's a valueble thing, that is.
Maybe we simply forgot because it's not that important. What's important is that we have each other. You can celebrate that once a year, but really, it's something to be aware of and celebrate every day, even if it's just in small ways. I never believed in "you don't love me, because you don't remember what day it is today!". If that is what it takes to question your marriage, it sure seems to be missing something important. Like, you know, faith. And thus I am kind of pleased that Beedoo! forgot as well. At the very least, it takes the pressure off. ;)
We did go out to celebrate this weekend, though. Just in case you think we're complete freaks. Then again, we are. The cool thing is: we're freaks together. :)
I can't be the kind of nagging bitch wife that popular culture dictates I should be... for one, if -I- can't remember a specific day of the year, why should others be obligated to do the same? Two, I'm not going to demand a sacrifice from my spouse in honor of the day. A couple weeks ago, Arno did pick up a bouquet of flowers for me--something he normally doesn't have the chance to do because of the train schedules: the flower stand at the train station closes at 6:00, which is inconvenient for people who just want to swing by after work if they have a long commute. But Arno managed to leave early and get home in time to buy me something pretty, which is not just a nice random gesture, but an act of sacrifice on his part. So taking these three elements into consideration, what kind of bitch would I be if demanded Arno remember a date I wouldn't have, arrange to get off work early, AND get something for me at a flower shop that may be closed by the time he gets there if anything at all goes awry with the trains? Care to demand a blood sacrifice there as well? So yeah... I can't be a nose-in-the-air bitch about a day when something perchance happened.
Now that this has happened, though, I may add our two anniversaries to the birthday calendar that hangs in our bathroom. I've never seen a calendar like this before coming here, but it seems to be a handy sort of thing; rather than mapping the specific days on which something occurs, it just gives a columned list of days where you can plug in birthdays. Thus, at a glance, we can see when someone's birthday is, and if we're conscious enough of it, we may even get a card out to them on time!
So, yes... it's been a year. We haven't fought at all yet, so I guess that means we're still in the honeymoon phase. That doesn't even make sense, since we haven't had our honeymoon yet; that's planned for October or November. maybe after that we'll start having at each other.
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