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This dragon is thinking out loud. You know what really makes it clear that you're doing an awful lot of wedding planning and prep? DRAWING IT. I'm sure I could think of a few more things to stuff into that thought balloon, packed as it is, not to mention various things that are a bit harder to put into pictures. (One thing I had to catch before it 'went to print', though, is that I didn't put any sleeves on the dress. Oops.)

So yes, there's much to do, even though I started looking for venues and so on months ago... I've been doing something or other planning-wise pretty much daily since the beginning of March (and probably a quarter or third of that snapping at the museum people). At that, it was stressing me out having to keep my temper, snarky though I was in some of my emails to them, because a longtime classmate of mine works there as the executive assistant to the director. And like I said, I don't want to come off as the uber-trite Bridezilla, but they're making it hard to avoid.

Meanwhile, I've been trying to put together a collection of music appropriate for the reception... for the most part, a bunch of geeky love songs, though as I go through my music collection, I keep finding and thinking of more things that make me expand my selections more and more... which is great, because I need to put together roughly 3 hours of music... I could get away with just two, I think... am I the only one who notices when the song selection at weddings starts to repeat?

Anybody got any suggestions for me, btw? Comment! I can use all the help I can get!

Then there's flowers and favors and decorations, catering, and trying to coordinate with people at the church who, by the looks of it, aren't receiving my emails. It's a good thing I have my mom helping a lot on this... A LOT... because trying to get everything together from another continent is a bit of a pain. (Also lucky for me, long-distance charges overseas only cost about as much as it costs to call Amsterdam, a few miles away.) Mom is taking care of a lot of the legwork, running checks to people and sending out the Save the Date and (will be doing) the invitations, and acting as a drop-point for everything I buy that needs to be shipped to Europe... Seeing as the charges range from $35 to $60 to ship, it's smarter in the end to send everything to her, have her rebox it all together and send it on to me, or store it at her house until the wedding.

You might think the shopping end of things would be a little more fun, though looking through scads of invitations that look very similar gets pretty tedious. Everyone has heard "Eat, Drink, and be Married" by now... like the term Bridezilla, it's worn out its welcome. Come on, I'm trying to make things amusing here, and this drivel is all I can find??

Arno is no help on most of this... his mind, we've decided, is not wired to deal with so many tiny decisions all at the same time. So, I sit here browsing flower girl baskets and granny boots and vests, while he sits at his computer playing games and pretty much just finances the whole thing. He flat out refused to wear a Victorian period tie, though I am requiring it of the groomsmen, and I really got pissed at him when he said he wouldn't wear a hat either... I had to fight him on that one.

I'm sure I can go on for hours about the many details I'm dealing with, but I'll let Arno talk for a while now. ;p

There are several cliches attached to weddings, and the cliche that I seem to have chosen is that of the beleaguered groom.

Like Beedoo! already said, my mind is not wired 'that way'. My mind is a bit out of the ordinary, in fact, best exemplified by my Masters in Mathematics (don't do it, people! It's not worth it!). I am capable, with relatively little effort, to think deeply and apply rigid logic to new situations. I have made something of a career in programming with that skill and it has served me well in that regard. Without it, I would not have been able to afford a Beedoo! in my life. I deal well with the details of a single subject, and am excellent at analyzing a situation into its smallest components (the smallest possible unit that you can break anything down to is anxiety, of course. I'm a worrier).

However, that same brain cannot deal well with a mass of tasks. It gets overwhelmed and I just shut down and hope it all goes away. That's why Beedoo!'s balloon up there is so scary to me. I can't process it all. In the past it's been told to me that this is shameful; I should just deal with all these things. Other people do - what's up with me being so lazy? But by the same token I could expect people to be able to write their own computer programs - and be sure to use modern patters such as dependency injection, inversion of control and multi-tier development, of course. You know those computer geeks who get irritated when you've done something 'stupid' on your computer, and who passionately believe that your life would be so much more complete if only you'd bother to learn Linux, a Real Operating System, what is wrong with these sheeple? It's the exact same thing. You can't. You don't have the mind for it. Imagine living in a world where nearly everyone is like that, but you're one of the few that's not. Wouldn't that drive you crazy?

So, it all falls to Beedoo!. I just pay for it with the money that I make with the part of my brain that does work well. Unfortunately, I'm a bit beleaguered there as well. We are making a new application and we have a deadline. Unfortunately, it's not our deadline, of course - I don't think anyone who's actually responsible for making the thing has been involved in that part. But the promises have been made and our reputation is on the line (and those darned programmers and analysts, why can't they see this is important? And why did they put that bug there? Don't they understand how inconvenient that is for a user?!)

So, we plow on, do our best, and hope to have as much as possible done before the deadline. The deadline? Some 4 weeks from now. The wedding in Haarlem? 6 weeks from now.

Raise stress levels, Mister Scott! We're going in!

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